Touchline Notebook

Steven Gerrard: The Rangers Journey to 55

In Steven Gerrard’s final days at Liverpool, he had bowed out in embarrassing fashion losing his final home game at Anfield 3-1 to Crystal Palace and losing 6-1 away...

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DOES THE LIVERPOOL SQUAD NEED A BIG REBUILD OR SOME MINOR TWEAKS? – BY PETER

The 2020/21 Premier League campaign has concluded and for Liverpool it has been the most peculiar season. The Reds came in as favourites being the reigning champions of but...

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Wilfried Zaha: Has he missed the boat?

In recent years, Wilfried Zaha has been heavily linked with moves away from Crystal Palace to teams in the top 6 of the Premier League as well as European...

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Starboy rankings 2021/22

Touchline Analysts were challenged to do a rank that stands the test of time. The composite column on the left is what our combined rankings of the players are....

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The night in Porto, three centre backs and the art of the ‘second chance’ in football

As a Chelsea fan, the past couple days since the triumph in Porto has allowed the observation of a beautiful irony with the discussions of our squad. The solidification...

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“Should I stay or should I go?”: An analysis of life under Roy Hodgson

‘Should I stay or should I go’  the famous words sung by the London punk band, The Clash, perfectly sums up the situation regarding the future of Crystal Palace manager,...

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KOP END SPECIAL: WHO SHOULD BE GINI WIJNALDUM’S SUCCESSOR? – BY PETER

Gini Wijnaldum’s contract expires at the end of the season and his time at Liverpool is coming to an end. The Dutch midfielder has been at the Reds for...

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TLF Interview: Wales International Rhys Norrington-Davies

Sheffield United’s struggles this season have been in the margins, and they will look to bolster their squad to take another run at the Premier League. One such reinforcement...

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From The Sublime to the Ridiculous

They often say that one game can define a season. An interesting concept when you consider the highs and lows of any 90-minute period on the pitch. Shifts in...

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MISSING: “Have you seen my assist?” The concept of ‘robbed assists’ by Dan Soff

There’s a serious crime happening against the creators of this world. (Thankfully for you, I am not talking about the fact that you are yet to sign up to...

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“Trust the process” – Football’s greatest fallacy? – By Dan Koogs

New season, new nightmare   On Monday Night Football on Sky Sports, following a 2-0 defeat to Tottenham Hotspur Jamie Carragher came out in a bold defence of Mikel...

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UEFA Euro U21 Championships: France Deep Dive

“Les Bleuets” kick off their u21 campaign tomorrow against Denmark and with the star quality that runs through their entire squad, they have to be considered one of the...

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UEFA Euro U21 Portugal Deep Dive: As Novas Esperanças

"Portugal are not considered among the main favourites with France, Spain, Germany and England taking up that mantle. However, Portugal won 9 of 10 qualifiers and internally will be...

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UEFA Euro U21 Championships: England Deep Dive

England have qualified for every U21 EURO tournament since 2007 but have not reached a final since 2009. In case you didn’t feel old enough, that side had the...

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The Truth behind Thomas Tuchel’s Tricky Blues – By Jerry

   Thomas Tuchel has enjoyed a fine start to life as Chelsea’s manager. Save for a few teething problems, the Blues have recorded some impressive results. Notably wins against...

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Special Bird or Choking Cockerel by Yaw

Opinion Piece At the time of writing this, Spurs have just lost yet another North London Derby to their bitter rivals Arsenal at the Emirates. The result itself although...

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The Wheels On The Bus

I sometimes hear more of Thomas Tuchel than I do from some of my friends, this may not sound so strange when you consider that Chelsea usually play twice...

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Chessy Special: Sound Progress, Long Way to Go

It has now been a month since Thomas Tuchel took charge of the Blues, succeeding club legend Frank Lampard at the helm. With seven victories, three draws and zero...

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KOP END SPECIAL: THIAGO ALCANTARA – THE ‘IDEA BALLER’- BY PETER

The announcement of signing Thiago Alcantara from Bayern Munich on the 18th of September was big. It was a statement of intent from the Champions to regain their Premier...

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MUGA Special: Man Utd – In Defence Of Nothing – By Elijah

“Goals win you games, defences win you titles” – Everyone has heard of this. Famously said by none other than Sir Alex Ferguson. Check the statistics however, and you’ll...

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Martin Ødegaard: A Mødern Creatør we prayed før – Touchy Gooners Special

The Midfield General In my time watching Arsenal, the team has gone through two clear cycles in terms of player profiles. Under Arsene Wenger, the team went through a...

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“Cross and Inshallah” – Premier League’s Team Crossing in 2020/21

‘Cross and Inshallah’, a phrase adopted by Football Twitter in recent years. A term of derision, it’s usually reserved for instances where players and teams have run out of...

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Lost in Translation: Why English managers are so bad

The first in a series of articles detailing why I think English managers are currently bad, using the story of Frank Lampard’s managerial career, to date, to better help...

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KOP END SPECIAL: KIRKBY BOYZ – BY PETER

Barcelona, Ajax, Athletic Bilbao, and even the ‘rivals’ Manchester United are renowned for their great youth academies. Many players have been able to forge careers at the highest level...

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Touchline Hotspur – Oh, Spurs do have starboys?

Man United, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool and even the Arse all have starboys, so where are Tottenham’s? It’s a question asked by rival fans across the board, Spurs do...

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CHELSEA – SCOUT REPORT

After watching Chelsea struggle against the spirited 10 men of Fulham this weekend, I checked the date for the looming Champions League fixture against Athletico Madrid. Images came to...

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Eastside Goon: Newcastle Nuisance

It seems like Arteta went for some strategic changes. Luiz and Willian return into the first team which is not that surprising given the competition – and a good...

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MUGA Special – Mason Greenwood: See Through The Forest

It’s easy to get lost. In the woods. With all the surrounding trees, reaching heights that scale way beyond that of us humans. They can block out any light,...

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East Side Goon Special: Bye Bogey Brighton

After a much needed win against Chelsea over the weekend, I was very pleased to see Arteta sticking to his guns with the starting line up. I’m sure seeing...

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Instant gratification vs a futuristic outlook – A conundrum

“Believe in me” Mikel Arteta’s words, caught on camera during Arsenal’s FA Cup celebrations. Essentially a declaration to one of his disciples as proof that he has all the...

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Touchline Fracas’ Mid-term Reports: Premier League 2020/21

As this god-awful year wraps up, we take comfort in having Premier League football front and centre once again. The return in June and then again in September was...

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East Side Goon Special: North of the Wall

Going north of the wall is never easy. I thought after another frustrating mid-week performance vs Southampton we would’ve made some improvements in todays game against Everton. Todays line...

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Spurs Special: The Right Wing Conundrum – By Tobi

It feels a tad ungrateful to discuss something ‘missing’ from a Spurs side riding high at the top of the table with the joint 3rd most goals scored so...

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KOP END SPECIAL: Who should Liverpool target at Centre back In January? – By Peter

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. It’s the 17th of October and were 5 minutes into a heated Merseyside derby. Liverpool are bossing the game and lead 1-0 through a Sadio Mane strike and then it...

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EAST SIDE GOON SPECIAL: Spurs 2-0 Arsenal – “NLD – North London Disgrace”

Just when I thought we hit rock bottom we end up in this mess. I knew the first half was gonna get long when we gave the ball away...

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Chessy Hour Special: Equity and Balance – by Jerry

As I tuned into the pre-match broadcast for Tottenham Hotspur vs Chelsea, seeing Callum Hudson-Odoi absent from the squad and Olivier Giroud on the bench, one word kept rattling...

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EAST SIDE GOON SPECIAL: ARSENAL 1-2 WOLVES – “Wolverine”

Well, where do I fucking start??? The line up was half decent, however ‘Willian the Villan’ is STILL starting??? I don’t know what kind of bondage he has with...

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N’golo Kante: Why He Still Has Some Years At The Top – by Semms

N’golo Kante has without a shadow of a doubt established himself as one of the world’s best ball-winning central midfield players since coming to England when Claudio Ranieri signed...

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MUGA Special: Harry Maguire: Man Utd’s Emperor in New Clothes – By Elijah

One great thing about stories, fables and tales is that they are able to explain complicated phenomena quite easily. Such is the case of the pluralistic ignorance and Danish...

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East Side Goon Special: Leeds 0-0 Arsenal – “Robust FC”

When I first saw the line up today, I thought ite this guy has finally benched Laca for his treacherous ways”. Willock also deserved his spot coz he has...

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Touchy Gooners Special: “pLaY aUbA dOwN tHe MiDdLe” – By Dan Koogs

I think most people will agree that, on the whole, Arsenal fans were filled with a quiet, but lingering, optimism stepping into this season. Rightly or wrongly, this was...

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“Stick to Football” – Politics & humanitarianism in the modern game

In a world that’s as polarised politically and socially as it’s ever been, it can be very difficult for anybody to air an opinion without being shouted down. Say...

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Post: Gallery Example

A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the...

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Podcasting Gear Review

A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the...

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5 Tips For Starting A New Podcast

A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the...

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Learn How We Started Podcasting

A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the...

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Contrasting Fortunes: Ole vs Super Frank

At the start of the 2019/20 Premier League season, Manchester United and Chelsea were in similar positions. The two clubs, who for so often have demanded success at all...

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The Curious Case of British Asian Footballers

At the time of last Census, British Asians (Britons who trace their origins to South Asia: India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, The Maldives & Sri Lanka) made up nearly 8% of...

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Has Paul Pogba flopped at Manchester United?

Paul Pogba has publicised his desire for a “new challenge” away from Old Trafford. The Frenchman stated, “it could be a good time” to move onto greener pastures whilst...

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Solskjær’s Slump: A deeper look into Manchester United’s recent decline

With just two unconvincing wins in their last eight games and a Manchester derby to come, many would argue that Ole has lost control of the wheel. It seemed...

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An insight into practical solutions to racism in football

Just over 30 years separates the infamous John Barnes’ banana back-heel and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang confronted by the same repulsive animus from rival fans last December. While the perpetrator at...

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Wolves at the Door

Anybody who loves watching football will have loved watching Wolverhampton Wanderers this season. They are on course for a Top 7 finish and are through to the semi-finals of...

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Manchester City v Chelsea Tactical Breakdown

Pre-game: Manchester City went into their clash against Chelsea needing a win to return to the top of the Premier League. But City would only climb above Liverpool on...

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Manchester United’s Transformation under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Manchester United have seven wins from seven games under caretaker manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. In doing so, Solskjaer has managed to get this United team to play much closer...

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#Spygate – Hysteria & Hypocrisy

Football punditry is divisive by its very nature – it’s usually a subjective view of on-the-pitch events by people who are well placed to have an opinion on the...

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A deeper look into the Sterling Saga and reactions

When Raheem Sterling aptly addressed the racist abuse he received at Stamford Bridge, he began a discussion which has long been overdue: Why are black players treated differently in...

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Kante Vs Jorginho

After Chelsea’s disastrous trip to Wembley there is need for introspection. However among the usual leg jerk criticisms, mostly warranted after a shocking display from Sarri’s men, there is...

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Arsenal v Liverpool Tactical Breakdown

Pre-game: Watching Emery’s first season at Arsenal, it is clear that he opts to play out from defence to build attacks. This is facilitated by the passing options available...

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An Ode to the Shitehouse

The antihero, the flawed protagonist, the shitehouse. We love to see them fail, we love to see them prosper. From Tony Soprano to Patrick Bateman to Walter White, we...

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Inverted Fullbacks

The Inverted full-back was not a position deployed regularly  in the premier league until recently, Pep Guardiola was not the first manager to utilise the position, however having David...

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The Sorry State of British Football Punditry

A large proportion of the football pundits on our televisions are ex-professionals. Some viewers see this as a positive due to the belief that professional experience brings a level...

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Success in Modern Football

Bill Shankly (7), Sir Matt Busby (8), Bob Paisley (12), Sir Alex Ferguson (24). The most decorated managers in English football. What made them successful? Above all: Trophies. Trophies...

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The Washed One

Jose Mourinho is arguably the most polarising figure in world football today. Despite his critics, he is also one of the most decorated managers. So, on 27th May 2016,...

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Blackout

Let me set the scene. 3pm on a Saturday, after a hard week at work you look forward to watching your favourite team in the premier league. Instead you’re...

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Maurizio Sarri : First Look

Touchline Fracas takes a look at Maurizio Sarri, the newest addition to the assortment of top quality managers in the premier league. Background We start from July 2011 when...

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It’s coming home

Heart rates across England have never collectively been higher, than when Eric Dier stepped up to take what would be the winning penalty against Colombia. It had been a...

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Foreign Treasure’s

This past month I visited two arena’s of football, the old and mighty San Siro rife with history and legend, and the modern palace of the Stade Matmut Atlantique....

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Functionality Vs Philosophy

Manchester City have set the premier league alight this season, as is often the case in England one single team has been completely dominant. Despite the general belief that...

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Midweek Football Tips

Tonight is Capital One Cup night, where the underdogs try to upset the big boys in hope that they aren’t quite on the ball. Lets make some money! @Tom_OMara...

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126 – Wakanda FC

https://audioboom.com/posts/6681366-126-wakanda-fc Related posts: 113 – Interracial PnP 118 – Griezmann v Pnp 124 – Piano FC KOP END SPECIAL: Who should Liverpool target at Centre back In January? –...

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125 – Baka-go-go

https://audioboom.com/posts/6667471-125-baka-go-go Related posts: 109 – Stern John 112 – Bilingual Altidore 117 – Racing Santander 123 – One Night Stand

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124 – Piano FC

https://audioboom.com/posts/6639770-124-piano-fc Related posts: 109 – Stern John 112 – Bilingual Altidore 117 – Racing Santander 123 – One Night Stand

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123 – One Night Stand

https://audioboom.com/posts/6624112-123-one-night-stand Related posts: 114 – Smelly Alli 115 – The Next Yaya 126 – Wakanda FC KOP END SPECIAL: KIRKBY BOYZ – BY PETER

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Is Batshuayi’s time at Chelsea over ?

When Michy Batshuayi poked in the winner for Chelsea against West Brom effectively securing the title at the Hawthorns, you could have forgiven him for thinking that it was...

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121 – Sex, Relationships and Football

https://audioboom.com/posts/6597323-121-sex-relationships-and-football Related posts: 114 – Smelly Alli 115 – The Next Yaya 126 – Wakanda FC KOP END SPECIAL: KIRKBY BOYZ – BY PETER

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120 – Big Shoes to Phil

https://audioboom.com/posts/6584127-120-big-shoes-to-phil Related posts: 114 – Smelly Alli 115 – The Next Yaya 126 – Wakanda FC KOP END SPECIAL: KIRKBY BOYZ – BY PETER

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Eden Hazard to Real Madrid ?

Eden Hazard reportedly would turn down a contract extension from Chelsea, whilst this isn’t a surprise to me it will certainly be a jolt back to reality for many...

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119 – Swag & More Xmas Special

https://audioboom.com/posts/6567820-119-swag-more-xmas-special Related posts: 108 – PnP 111 – Football Blitter 116 – Die Aard 121 – Sex, Relationships and Football

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Winter Winner

As the Christmas bells jingle louder the inevitable grumblings escape from top flight changing rooms, bemoaning the lack of the winter break. Antonio Conte, Jose Mourinho and co are...

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Surely thats a red ?

Let me preface this by saying I generally dislike referees. They remain a frequent blemish on the beautiful game, as someone who has played the football all the way...

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118 – Griezmann v Pnp

https://audioboom.com/posts/6557614-118-griezmann-v-pnp Related posts: 108 – PnP 111 – Football Blitter 116 – Die Aard 121 – Sex, Relationships and Football

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The Evolution of the Centre forward

Dixie Dean, Arthur Rowley, Jimmy Greaves (and before you ask I never saw any of them play). Three of the best strikers who ever lived, but could they survive...

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117 – Racing Santander

https://audioboom.com/posts/6545541-117-racing-santander Related posts: 108 – PnP 110 – Yaka, Baka, Laca 115 – The Next Yaya 120 – Big Shoes to Phil

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Expectation vs Achievement – Loftus-Cheek vs Alli

The wonderkid, an embodiment of hope and excitement. Every club has a young talent, through which many a fan live their hopes and dreams vicariously through. Every so often...

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116 – Die Aard

https://audioboom.com/posts/6532890-116-die-aard Related posts: 108 – PnP 110 – Yaka, Baka, Laca 120 – Big Shoes to Phil 121 – Sex, Relationships and Football

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115 – The Next Yaya

https://audioboom.com/posts/6516663-115-the-next-yaya Related posts: 108 – PnP 111 – Football Blitter 117 – Racing Santander 121 – Sex, Relationships and Football

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114 – Smelly Alli

https://audioboom.com/posts/6501271-114-smelly-alli   On this weeks #TouchlineFracas the lads discuss; – North London Derby – Pogbechester United – England v Brazil – Your listener’s questions. Get involved in the discussion using #TouchlineFracas Visit...

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The Curious Case of Antonio Conte

Chelsea manager Antonio Conte was the recipient of much acclaim last year, approaching the end of last season the italian was living the dream, he had taken the league...

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113 – Interracial PnP

https://audioboom.com/posts/6482083-113-interracial-pnp     Related posts: 109 – Stern John 112 – Bilingual Altidore 118 – Griezmann v Pnp 124 – Piano FC

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The Rise of John Stones

Even before John Stones’ record breaking 47 million pound move to Manchester City in the summer of 2016, there has always been resistance to the former Everton players unique...

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112 – Bilingual Altidore

https://audioboom.com/posts/6460458-112-bilingual-altidore Related posts: 109 – Stern John 113 – Interracial PnP 118 – Griezmann v Pnp 124 – Piano FC

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Norbert the lights are shining

Jurgen Norbert Klopp…Norbert. For the duration of this article we will address Mr Klopp as Norbert. The lights are shining too bright to read any of his other names....

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111 – Football Blitter

https://audioboom.com/posts/6440039-111-football-blitter Related posts: 108 – PnP 110 – Yaka, Baka, Laca 116 – Die Aard 120 – Big Shoes to Phil

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110 – Yaka, Baka, Laca

https://audioboom.com/posts/6418083-110-yaka-baka-laca Related posts: 109 – Stern John 113 – Interracial PnP 118 – Griezmann v Pnp 124 – Piano FC

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Giggs-eh

109 goals in 632 premier league appearances, Guess who ? You would be forgiven if you guessed Yaya Sanogo, or Bosko Balaban (One for Danny Rose to google). Alas...

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ARSENE WENGER: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE

Arsenal have started their meltdown to the season much earlier than expected. The #WengerOut brigade are in full voice, calling for Arsene Wenger and Stan Kroenke to leave the...

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Live For The Moment

“Am I happy or in misery” ? Jimi Hendrix got it right, the life of a football fan for the most part is a weekly swap between joy, pain,...

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109 – Stern John

https://audioboom.com/posts/6405019-109-stern-john Related posts: 112 – Bilingual Altidore 113 – Interracial PnP 117 – Racing Santander 123 – One Night Stand

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The Ball Playing Defender

Each manager has a different identity, a philosophy from which they do not often stray. One that comes to mind is undoubtedly Jose Mourinho’s pragmatism prioritising ‘not losing’ over...

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How did I end up here ?

On the face of it, Gareth Southgate becoming England manager does not seem very remarkable or an awe-inspiring tale at all. After a playing career spanning three teams, he...

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