Touchline Notebook

“Cross and Inshallah” – Premier League’s Team Crossing in 2020/21

‘Cross and Inshallah’, a phrase adopted by Football Twitter in recent years. A term of derision, it’s usually reserved for instances where players and teams have run out of ideas. In doing so, they adopt a hit-and-hope approach of crossing from deep. Often when frustrated, players will prefer to deliver a ball into a ‘dangerous…

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Lost in Translation: Why English managers are so bad

The first in a series of articles detailing why I think English managers are currently bad, using the story of Frank Lampard’s managerial career, to date, to better help in explaining my thoughts.

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KOP END SPECIAL: KIRKBY BOYZ – BY PETER

Barcelona, Ajax, Athletic Bilbao, and even the ‘rivals’ Manchester United are renowned for their great youth academies. Many players have been able to forge careers at the highest level with the education they gained from these institutions. The development of young talent is often at the top of many club’s ambitions and the forefront of…

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Touchline Hotspur – Oh, Spurs do have starboys?

Man United, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool and even the Arse all have starboys, so where are Tottenham’s? It’s a question asked by rival fans across the board, Spurs do have a respectful history of bringing through talent. Players as recently as the last decade such as Gareth Bale, Danny Rose, Tom Huddlestone, Andros Townsend, Nabil…

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CHELSEA – SCOUT REPORT

After watching Chelsea struggle against the spirited 10 men of Fulham this weekend, I checked the date for the looming Champions League fixture against Athletico Madrid. Images came to mind of scouts watching from Madrid filling out reports, gleefully planning their progress into the next round. After all, Madrid sit 4 points clear atop La…

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Eastside Goon: Newcastle Nuisance

It seems like Arteta went for some strategic changes. Luiz and Willian return into the first team which is not that surprising given the competition – and a good opportunity for these suspects to put in a decent performance. I thought we might be having a Partey tonight but I guessing Arteta didn’t think he…

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MUGA Special – Mason Greenwood: See Through The Forest

It’s easy to get lost. In the woods. With all the surrounding trees, reaching heights that scale way beyond that of us humans. They can block out any light, making our orientation to get out of our lost ways harder. The animals within that can jump out at you, attack you. There is a plethora…

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East Side Goon Special: Bye Bogey Brighton

After a much needed win against Chelsea over the weekend, I was very pleased to see Arteta sticking to his guns with the starting line up. I’m sure seeing Martinelli, Smith-Rowe and Saka on that team sheet again brought joy to many Arsenal fans. And despite a slow first half, we continued this rare form…

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Instant gratification vs a futuristic outlook – A conundrum

“Believe in me” Mikel Arteta’s words, caught on camera during Arsenal’s FA Cup celebrations. Essentially a declaration to one of his disciples as proof that he has all the answers and would be the way forward. There is no doubt that Mikel Arteta’s job has come under increasing scrutiny in recent weeks. The Arsenal manager…

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Touchline Fracas’ Mid-term Reports: Premier League 2020/21

As this god-awful year wraps up, we take comfort in having Premier League football front and centre once again. The return in June and then again in September was the tonic the nation needed. If you want to experience all emotions possible to a human being, all you need to do is join the Touchline…

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East Side Goon Special: North of the Wall

Going north of the wall is never easy. I thought after another frustrating mid-week performance vs Southampton we would’ve made some improvements in todays game against Everton. Todays line up was better but questionable. I still don’t think Willian deserves to start in our attack under any circumstances. Auba’s injury looks short term but still…

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Spurs Special: The Right Wing Conundrum – By Tobi

It feels a tad ungrateful to discuss something ‘missing’ from a Spurs side riding high at the top of the table with the joint 3rd most goals scored so far this season (24) and yet, here we are, ready to scrutinize a specific position that simply isn’t operating on the same wavelength and quality as pretty much all the other positions in Tottenham’s starting XI.

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KOP END SPECIAL: Who should Liverpool target at Centre back In January? – By Peter

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. It’s the 17th of October and were 5 minutes into a heated Merseyside derby. Liverpool are bossing the game and lead 1-0 through a Sadio Mane strike and then it happened. The most destructive and calamitous moment of Liverpool’s season had occurred. Jordan Pickford injured Virgil Van Dijk with an ill-timed tackle. The 6ft 4 centre back was figuratively torn in half,…

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EAST SIDE GOON SPECIAL: Spurs 2-0 Arsenal – “NLD – North London Disgrace”

Just when I thought we hit rock bottom we end up in this mess. I knew the first half was gonna get long when we gave the ball away for a throw in – straight from kick off???? There were small signs we could cause Tottenham some problems but yet again, naivety cost us. The…

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Chessy Hour Special: Equity and Balance – by Jerry

As I tuned into the pre-match broadcast for Tottenham Hotspur vs Chelsea, seeing Callum Hudson-Odoi absent from the squad and Olivier Giroud on the bench, one word kept rattling around in my mind. Equity. Or lack thereof.

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EAST SIDE GOON SPECIAL: ARSENAL 1-2 WOLVES – “Wolverine”

Well, where do I fucking start??? The line up was half decent, however ‘Willian the Villan’ is STILL starting??? I don’t know what kind of bondage he has with Arteta. I feel like there’s some Brazilian coup happening in the squad right now and its worrying me. I know Pepe is suspended but Nelson could…

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N’golo Kante: Why He Still Has Some Years At The Top – by Semms

N’golo Kante has without a shadow of a doubt established himself as one of the world’s best ball-winning central midfield players since coming to England when Claudio Ranieri signed him for would-be champions Leicester City in 2015. Upon arrival, little was known about the Frenchman and very few knew his name, however, that would quickly…

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MUGA Special: Harry Maguire: Man Utd’s Emperor in New Clothes – By Elijah

One great thing about stories, fables and tales is that they are able to explain complicated phenomena quite easily. Such is the case of the pluralistic ignorance and Danish folklore, The Emperor’s New Clothes. The story goes that two weavers come to the emperor with new linen possessing a special power. It is invisible to…

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East Side Goon Special: Leeds 0-0 Arsenal – “Robust FC”

When I first saw the line up today, I thought ite this guy has finally benched Laca for his treacherous ways”. Willock also deserved his spot coz he has defo been balling onna low recently. Still upset “Villan Willian” nicked another start yet again, but Auba going striker and Pepe starting was a bigger question…

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Touchy Gooners Special: “pLaY aUbA dOwN tHe MiDdLe” – By Dan Koogs

I think most people will agree that, on the whole, Arsenal fans were filled with a quiet, but lingering, optimism stepping into this season. Rightly or wrongly, this was mainly due to the more enjoyable way that the, generally miserable, 19/20 season came to an end. Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal team were able to beat both…

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